Choices
by theprofessormordinsolus
Summary: "Lily Evans was not ordinarily indecisive. No, she always knows what she wants, where she wants it and when she wants it. But on this particular spring morning, she was having second thoughts." Severus/Lily REVIEW!


_A/N: This is Lament again! Tell me what you think. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own Lily or Severus.**

Lily Evans was not ordinarily indecisive. No, she always knows what she wants, where she wants it and when she wants it. But on this particular spring morning, she was having second thoughts. Today was her wedding day, one of the worst days to have second thoughts, and in less than an hour she would be married to James Potter, the man that she loves. Yet-yet she cannot help but wonder if she made the right choice in accepting his proposal. She loves him quite dearly; only there is something always missing when she was with him.

It was not always so. No, one month ago if you asked her if she had made the right choice, she would have laughed and said yes. James Potter is the man of her dreams. He's everything she ever wanted. He was kind and gentle and ever so sweet. He was tall and had beautiful hazel eyes. He was funny and intelligent and everything a man should be.

Yet…

Was he the Mr. Right her mother always spoke about? Was he the man she would want to spend her life with? Was he really who she wanted? After all, there had been one man who had been all that she ever wanted, all that she ever needed…

She had loved another man once. He was so dear to her; so wonderful and beautiful. He was her best friend before. He was everything to her. He was her protector, friend and almost-lover.

He was Severus Snape.

She looked into the full length mirror and frowned. There she was, dressed in white lace and silver silk. Her hair was pulled into a beautiful bun and her makeup was done by Alice Longbottom. She held a bouquet of red, pink and white carnations. Around her neck was a necklace that had belonged to James's mother. It was tradition, she was told, to be given this necklace-which had been in the Potters for generations-from the mother of the groom to the bride.

Lily felt as if she didn't deserve it. She was a muggle born, with dirty blood. James was a pureblood. She was certain that his mother had hoped he would keep the line pure. She could just see it in Mrs. Potter's eyes.

She knew that if she wanted, she could still run. She didn't have to marry James. She could leave the church and never look back. No one would stop her.

But she wouldn't leave.

Who would she go to anyway? They all believed she loved James more than anything.

She sighed and collapsed into the arm chair by the mirror. She did love James. Yet, she would always love Severus even more. No one could ever replace him. Not even her own husband-to-be.

The door to her room suddenly burst open. She stood quickly and stared at the man who gazed at her from the doorway. He was like she remembered. He was tall, lean, with dark hair so soft it felt like feathers. His dark eyes looked tired and lonely. He was dressed in black as usual and his dark mark was freely hanging out of his shirt sleeve.

"Severus," she gasped. "What are you doing here?"

Her bouquet of carnations fell softly to the floor as she rushed to him. She threw her arms around him and held him tightly to her. His arms hesitantly wrapped around her waist loosely. She pulled away after a moment and grasped his cheeks. She stared up into those soulful eyes and searched them. She searched for a reason for his appearance. But his eyes betrayed nothing.

"It's so good to see you, Severus," she whispered. She looked down at the floor, her eyes filling with tears. "I was afraid you were still angry at me."

His brow furrowed. "My anger was never for you, Lily," he murmured. "It was for that…Potter. He does not deserve a soul as beautiful as yours."

She smiled slightly. "He never did."

She turned from him and walked towards the only window in the room. He followed after her and quietly shut the door behind him. She looked out the window. Below her people walked on by. Cars drove past the church and every once in a while, people would honk their car horns when they saw the limo parked outside. On the back window the words "James + Lily: Just Married!" were spray painted. Her eyes stung and she looked away from them.

"You never did answer my question, Severus," she informed him. He chuckled slightly and sighed. She turned to face him. He was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, his hands in his pocket.

"Yes," he muttered. "I know. I debated with my self for three hours whether or not I should have come. It's not every day…not everyday your best friend gets married, is it?"

She studied him. Lily Evans knew Severus Snape better than anyone else. She knew he was lying. She placed her hands on her hips and glared softly at him. "That's not the real reason and you know it," she accused him.

He looked up at her, his dark eyes piercing hers. She took a quick intake of breath and looked away.

"I came in hopes that I could persuade you not to marry Potter."

"Severus," she whispered. Her eyes returned to his.

"Please listen to me, Lily! I could give you everything that he can and more. We would be happy. You wouldn't have to marry in a church. We could marry outside under the stars and the moon. You could be barefoot. We could buy you a cottage-just like you wanted-and whatever else that you may want. Just please, don't marry him."

She shook her head and turned to the window again. She could say yes. She could run away with him. She could have everything that she wanted with him. She wouldn't feel like dirt. She wouldn't feel like a nuisance.

Yet, she knew that she could never marry him.

"And would you give up your precious lord?" she whispered. "Would you leave all of that behind you? All the killing, all the torture?"

"You know that I can't, Lily," he whispered. "Once you're a death eater, there's no going back."

"And how do you suppose you would protect me, a mudblood-the kind that your lord and master kill?"

He didn't answer.

"I love you, Severus Snape. More than anything or anyone. But I could not possibly marry you. You made your choice," she whispered. "And now, I've made mine. I'm going to marry James. And I'll die with him."

"Please, Lily…"

"Go, Severus. Please, just go."

He said no more. The only sound that came from behind her was that of the door closing. She turned around to find the room empty. He was gone.

A single tear fell from her eye. Severus Snape was only a dream. A dream that she could never have any sort of dealings with.

But she would always love him. Even until death.


End file.
